Bored out of your skull, eh? Miserable with your career? Not sure what to say when you call in sick? Don't despair. Ace this successful slacker quiz and your work responsibilities will suddenly vanish. Life will once again be good. If you think you have the correct response, scroll over the black tab on the left to reveal each answer. Good luck!

If you enjoy this quiz, you'll love The 5 Habits. Makes for a great graduation gift, cheap stocking stuffer or a hilarious office prank for co-workers.

1. When a co-worker who needs help comes to you with a question they are having problems with, and you know the answer, do you:
A) Smile and say “sorry, I don’t know the answer to that, but I think Swindla does!”
B) Pretend you are on the telephone by striking up an artificial conversation with the dial tone and giving the person the “I’m on the phone” hand signal.
C) Invite them into your office/cube, make some small talk, and then give them the correct answer.
D) Give them the wrong answer and then anxiously wait to see what happens.

2. True or False. For a successful slacker, getting hired into a backfill position (a job that someone either quit or got fired from) is the most ideal type of slacker job.

3. If you are in a situation where either a co-worker or a manager is trying to blame you for the failure of a project or other assignment, and you have proof that you are not to blame, do you:
A) Go over that person’s head and prove with the information that you are innocent.
B) Send the accuser an email with a subject line that says “Herpes Test Results” while they are in a large meeting with their computer screen on a projector.
C) Sit down with the individual and try to work out the conflict.
D) Take the evidence, throw it up in the air and say “Whatever!”

4. When a co-worker has an “action required” item that they urgently present you with, do you:
A) Ignore it and hope it goes away.
B) Get the action completed immediately because it is required.
C) Respond immediately saying that you are on it, but then do nothing until they follow up asking for an update, apologize profusely, and still do nothing.
D) Tell the co-worker that particular responsibility is not in your job description.

5. True or false: Successful slackers always bring in deals at the beginning of the quarter or complete projects ahead of deadline so that they look like productive employees.

6. KPI stands for:
A) Key Procrastination Incentive
B) Key Performance Indicator
C) Kickoff Project Impetus
D) Kill Productive Interaction

7. While interviewing candidates for a job, you discover that the interviewee is a potential successful slacker, do you:
A) Show them the door immediately, you don’t need another successful slacker impeding on your established territory.
B) Ask them a lot of questions to see how qualified they are in successful slacking, and then hire them if they look to be Grade A material.
C) In the middle of the interview, tell them you have to “take a dump”, leave the room, laugh hysterically at yourself, and then spy in the window to see what their reaction is.
D) None of the above

8. You find out that your manager is having an extramarital affair with a co-worker that is inappropriate and could be viewed as a clear HR violation, do you:
A) Tattle to HR right away like a 2 year old goody-two-shoes.
B) Inform them that you are aware of their misconduct but will keep it a secret.
C) Don’t say anything and keep it up your sleeve so that it can be used for blackmail purposes at the right time.
D) Spread gossip around the entire group about a gross over-exaggeration of the truth including a reference to hyena sex using bananas.

9. Net-Net stands for:
A) A type of spray used to shape fine hair into a net.
B) The end result of an action.
C) A fishing net as described by someone with a stuttering affliction.
D) A cool way of saying Internet.

10. In sales, the established quota for a successful slacker is:
A) Whatever management sets it at in your compensation plan.
B) The average quota attainment for the entire group based on prior quarterly performance.
C) There is not established quota, you finish where you finish.
D) Your shoe size plus the number of times your manager has said “value add” minus the number of times your manager has actually added value divided by the number of commitments you have legitimately attained in your annual review.

How do you rank?

10 out of 10 – Why am I writing this book? YOU should be!
9 – I am proud to call you my partner in successful slacking
8 – You are on your way, but need some polishing
7 – You understand concepts, but need more experience in application
6 – There is hope for you, but much slacking will need to take place
5 or less – you are either an overachiever, unsuccessful slacker, or someone who is just taking this quiz because your are bored out of your skull.

What do you think? Let us know your suggestions! Email feedback [at] slackism dot com.