This page was last updated on: 10/7/2008

It's so hard these days to figure out what to give a high school or college graduate. What's the graduation gift etiquette? Will just a card suffice or is that too cheapskate? You definitely don't want to give them cash, because they'll just go right out and spend it on beer, drugs, a stripper or all of the above. What to do?

How about making an investment in their bleak and uninteresting corporate future? Purchase a copy of The 5 Habits of Highly Successful Slackers (Because 7 is too Many). It will help them quickly realize that doing nothing is most often the best solution to every problem and that building a meaningful corporate career is about as likely as having a successful marriage.

They'll learn how to shirk useless responsibility, gain more free time and what to say when you call in sick - all while earning pay raises, promotions and endless accolades.

The 5 Habits is the new graduation gift standard. Buy one today, and be the solitary ray of light and happiness in the otherwise dark and depressing future of a high school or college graduate.

`How much do I spend on a graduation gift?`

`About $14.95 (not including S&H).`